Holdin On To Life

Aveces malgastamos el tiempo y nos creemos demasiado poco. Y malgastamos nuestra vida, lo unico que tenemos.

Las horas pasan demasiado lento o demasiado rapido, y nada es lo suficiente.

Cuando hay muchas personas que luchan por tener la mitad de lo que nosotros tenemos.

Cuando hay mucha personas que estan luchando por sobrevivir.

What if..?

Que pasaria si mis peores miedos se hicieran realidad??
Que pasaria si me dejas d kerer y te olvidas d todo en vavaciones, y caes en cuenta que puedes facilmente encontrar una mucho mejor y mucho mas bonita?
Que pasaria? Aunq me digas y me repitas q no va a pasar, realmente, q tan segura puedo estar?
Por eso estoy rara.
No es tan facil ignorar lo q pasa contigo.

Dame una sonrisa y te dare felicidad.

Dame una lagrima y dejaras de llorar.

Dame una razon y me quedare por siempre aqui.

Dame un beso y veras que soy capaz...

Solo no me mientas.

Dame una mentira y te dare el infierno.

Dame una mentira y veras que tan mala y dificil puede ser la vida.

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.

I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle.

But, if you can't handle me at my worst,

then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Todo..o nada.

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

YOU ARE THE ONLY EXECEPTION

Por ti me bajo de mi nube, de mi lugar, de mi comodidad.

Life gets Easier once You stop Worrying about being PERFECT

La frase del titulo de la entrada es totalmente verdad. El problema llega cuando no se es capaz de dejar de pensar en eso y de dejar de pensar que es eso lo correcto. Que pasa cuando cada celula de tu cuerpo grita por perfeccion? Es simplemente imposible ignorarlas. No importa cuanto mal sepas que te hace, simplemente tienes que seguir lo que te dice cada parte de tu ser, cada celula de tu cuerpo, cada nuerona de tu cerebro. No puedes ignoraralas y pensar que de esa manera viviras mejor, y simplemente no es tan facil como decir que no vas a pensar mas en eso y lograrlo. Que pasa si tu estas seguro/a que la perfeccion es la solucion? Que pasa si la perfeccion es lo que falta?

Mi vida es regida por la perfeccion, si la dejo a un lado, no tendre mas porq luchar. Es por eso q no puedo dejar ese pensamiento de lado. Ese pensamiento es mi piso. Es mi principio y mi final...es lo que rige mi vida.

Sin ese pensamiento no hay nada.

Por mucho dolor que me cause, y por mucho mal que me haga...es la verdad.

This.is.not.Ok

People say there's one thing that will always happen: u love someone, and u like someone else. But it's simply NOT ok! I mean, if u love someone, u have to like every part of him and u have to have eyes for ONLY him!!! Right?? This is simply not ok. No, no, no.
What if I start liking him more?
No. It cant happen.
I wont let it happen.
Right?
But what if I cant?
What if it's too big for me?

Cuando el dolor es demasiado para pararte cada dia,
cuando el dolor es demasiado para tragarte las lagrimas,
y cuando el dolor es demasiado para dejar de sentir...bueno, si, es un problema...y ese es el momento en el que debemos, mas que hacer lo que por naturaleza hacemos, pensar y analizarlo un poko mas...no dejarnos caer...pq una vez que se cae, es casi imposible volver a levantarse.
Ahi es cuando llega el momento de analizar las opciones que tienes.
Llega el momento de intentar ver las cosas con otros ojos..alejarte un pokito de los demas, darle tiempo al tiempo y concentrarte en mas cosas. No pensar demasiado, tarde o temprano el dolor se ira.
Esa es mi forma, claro. Todos tenemos diferentes formas de lidiar con el dolor...basta con mirar hacia adentro, basta con intentar conocerte por completo, y podras saber la forma de hacer que ese dolor se haga mas aguantable, o hasta que desaparezca.

Y lo uniko que espero es no verlos caer jamas.

Just amazing

Before I fall down
Before I break,
I would like to say how much pain one can take.

Is amazing the way we stand every day...

Is amazing the way we swallow our tears...

Is amazing the way we can stop feelling...

Is amazing the way we can love, we can hate and we can forgive...

Dont u think?

I know I should've thinked before I acted.

But common sense is not as common as everybody says...

Promise?

Live!
Do u promise me u will do anything to make it better?

Love!
Do u pomise me that u will REALLY try?

Laugh!
Do u promise me you will not harm ur self anymore?

Viva la vida! :)
Do u promise me u will make it worthy?

Do you promise?

Promise.

And at least I will know I have something to hope for

R.I.D.I.C.U.L.A

Siempre buskndo caerle bien a los demas, hacer las cosas por los demas, darles lo que buscan...hacerlos sentir bien...eso es aceptable. Eso es mas como: dejare de ser egoista y te dare lo que kieras, hare cosas por ti y no pensare mas en mi. Creo que eso lo hacemos, al menos, una vez al dia.
Pero que pasa cuando ya no se trata de eso sino...de ser suficiente para los demas? Como se llama eso? Como se llama cuando ya no hacemos las cosas por nosotros mismos, para sentirnos bien con nosotros mismos sino para llenar las espectativas que tienen respecto a ti? Que pasa cuando una de tus mayores obseciones y deseos es hacer orgullosos a tus progenitores y...lo intentas con todas tus fuerzas pero siempre vueleves a caer, pq simplemente no es suficiente?
Q haces? Seguir intentando escuchar un: 'Que orgulloso/a estoy de ti, te amo'..u olvidarte de ellos y hacerlo todo por y para ti?
Es simplemente RIDUCULO.

What is love without lust?

I.Don't.Care

Lets see...well, i loved you (as friends, of course). Yes, u were my floor and u know that. And I should have chosen u, i know that [Well, i dont really like the word CHOOSE..cuz it is too...too for objects. No one is an object]. I know that friends ALWAYS come first. [Did u know that he is my FRIEND, before anything else?] But I chose him. Yes, I did. Ok...I was especting that. I was expecting and waiting for the day u will say 'him or us'. And I was thinking about that question for son long i did thought about ALL the consequences. I knew u would hate me, I would lose u...I knew I would be how I am. I knew it. But u know why I 'chose' him? Fist of all, I love him. Second of all, hey, u have urselfs, i mean ure NOT alone. U have ur friends and someone to hang around. So, just tell me, that i wanna know: who would he hang around if I let him alone? Just tell me..who? And who would take him seriously? Who would try to make him and his life better? Who will not just laughs at him? Who will understand him and not just put him as a FUCKING emo? I am not ABLE to say NO to him. In that moment, in the moment I had the choice to say 'I want my friends rather than him' i didnt..u know why? Not beacuse i was hypocrite or that I didn't care about what u felt. Is just that for the FIRST time in my life, I was going to do, not the best for me, but for someone else. Because u did not lose anything when I lose u. No, I'm no one. It was not easy, but here I am. I lost u, but I won someone who i can tell absolutely EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. There are not tabu's.
Now, I'm livin the consequences of action, of my decision. Im not COMPLAINING about it! Cuz i simply knew it will happen LIKE THIS. AND I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY ARE U LIKE THAT! WITH ALL THAT ANGER AND...THIRST FOR REVANGE. Ok, i hurt u. But can we go to that day by fighting or could we make it better like that? Really, I dont think so. I dont understand why cant u just let it go. I NEVER ASKED TO YOU TO BE MY FRIENDS AGAIN. NEVER. I just said sorry, that was all. I did not beg you to be part of u again. Did I? Did I? NO! Do u want me to beg?? And u know why I didn't do it? Because with the decission I made I knew I would lose u and im just accepting the punishment i receive for doing what i did. Not beacuse im proud, come on.. [U, YOU of all people shouldn't have said that..have u looked at u at the mirror?], If it was proudness, believe me..i will just forget about EVERYTHING to get u back again. And i dont really care if u write again about me and say 'hey this is hard? well, is the truth'. Beacuse nothing cares ANYMORE! I just thought u were mature enough to let it go and forget about it and just ignore us. Maybe I was wrong. I WAS WRONG.

I tried to do it, but u seem to want to keep that inside. Whatever. Do whatever u want. I already cared too much about it.

And I also just DONT CARE about them. They can't do anything anymore, anyway.

Darkness always turns into Light

I love you

Light in my road..

I know I can’t help you. That castle you built can only be open from the inside. And I’m on the outside. What can I do? All I see I can do is saying things like: Hey, I’m here for you. You know o can lay on me whenever you want…I’m pretty sure you know that right? And, for now, until (if)you decide to open the gates of ur castle, I will have to stay were I am, preying for a miracle that makes that pain disappears, that makes your tears go away and your smile come back again. I’m sorry I cannot do anything. I’m sorry for not being able to help or to make things better, not even knowing how cold it is inside ur castle. Am I wrong? Tell me if that castle isn’t cold and dark…and oppressing, and a prison, instead of ur home.
But, remember that there’s always a light at the end of the road. (A fact: U’re the light in my road)
When u feel ur world is crashing down, I’ll be here to help u get it up again. And when u feel ur falling down, dont doubt and come to me. I'll always do my best to help u be ok again.

NO me siento sola..pq simplemente SE q me lo merezco.
NO me siento desolada, ni siento que nadie me entiende..vamos, asi es la vida.
I AM NOT BROKEN pq se que no es el fin del mundo.
Pronto algo va a cambiar, pronto alguien va a llegar..o algo va pasar. Y todos veremos lo ekivocados que estabamos.
Es solo kuestion de tiempo.

Here without u..

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I dont think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when Im dreaming of your face

Im here without you baby
but you still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

Im here without you baby
but you still with me in my dreams
And tonight its only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated
but I hope it gets better as we go

Im here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

Im here without you baby
but you still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but I wont take away my love
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done
it will get hard but I wont take away my love

Im here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

Im here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

3 Doors Down

What if..

What if there was no lie?
No thing wrong, nothing right...
What if there was no time?
No reason or rhyme?
What if u should decide..
that u dont want me there in your life?
That u dont want me there by ur side?

And I could purge my soul perhaps [..Lot to do..]

For the imminent collapse

I'll tell you what we could do...

u be me for a while

I'll be u.

When my time comes

Forget the wrong that i've done

Help me leave behind

Some reasons to be missed

Don't resent me

And when u're feeling empty

Keep me in ur memory

This is my soul speaking through my mouth
these are my emotions locked in an empty body
tonight in this empty room
with no one around but u.

This is me in the middle of nowhere
my body is hollow and im feeling so alone
every word echoes in my head and every doubt is gone,
now that I know u will not go.

I wanna feel some love, I wanna feel some peace
and i hope that i will find it in u
cuz im so tired of being hurt.

I was never supposed to let u know
How much I care about u.
I was never supossed to say
Im always here for you.

And in spite of that, I want u to know that I can see through every smile u fake and every lie u tell,
Someone who is afraid of being him, not sure of what they’ll think.
Someone who is afraid of getting hurt, it has been enough.
And someone who is afraid of letting go, letting go all those feelings, all those memories, all that pain.

I wanna see u smile, I wanna see u laugh
I wanna see u say: I am happy

Now, let ur soul speak through ur mouth
Let all those locked emotions free
Be whatever u wanna be
Say whatever u wanna say
Do whatever u wanna do.

Breath.

Be you, be happy.

U never know when will be the end. Well, ur end.

Hoy podemos estar estresados porq nos acabaron de entregar notas y estamos putos pq esperan que seamos perfectos sabiendo mui bn q la perfeccion no existe. Y depronto llega mañana...un camion aplasta nuestra ruta del colegio. Bien! Nadie sobrevive. Komo pasamos nuestro ultimo dia de vida?
- Estresados.
- Putos.
- Bravos con Eliana, Matilde, Lia y los demas implicados en nuestras notas no tan perfectas.
- Estresados con nosotros mismos por no ser lo q esperamos.
- Frustrados por q alguien no nos dijo algo.
- Estresadisimos por nuestros hermanos (as)
- Deprimidos pq nos castigaron el fin de semana + que la vamos a pasar super aburridos.
Y la lista continua...
Deben estar pensando que a lo mejor eso no pase. Claro q es posible! Nunca sabemos cuando es el final, o mejor..nuestro final. Puede ser mañana, o pasado, o en dos meses. La cosa es que no sabemos como disfrutar cada dia de nuestra vida...cada minuto, cada segundo.
Y si hoy fue el ultimo dia q nuestros amigos del colegio? Y si mañana sera el ultimo dia que vimos a nuestros hermanos mamones? Y si la semana pasada fue la ultima vez que viste a tu tio favorito? Y si...mañana mueres y pierdes todo por lo que has luchado?
Has pensado en eso? Si no, es hora de que lo analices. No para entrar en panico ni mucho menos, es para demostrar lo que sientes y vivir la vida como si mañana no existiera. Pq puede suceder asi.
Para la proxima vez que decidas ponerte bravo (a) con alguien, piensalo dos veces. Y si la ultima vez que viste a ese alguien fue para reprocharle todo? Y si mueres bravo con ese alguien?
Agh, se q puedo parecer un poko dramatica. Pero lamentablemente es la verdad.
La incertidumbre es una parte indispensable de la vida y de la muerte, claro.
Bno, solo con proponerse a vivir cada segundo con el ultimo es suficiente. Aunq muchas veces no lo logremos..lo mejor es volver a empezar.

Live, love...laugh :)

One.More.Time

Hoy, Lunes 11 de Diciembre me siento bien.
Siento q porfin encontre a una persona en la q puedo confiar, en la q me puedo apoyar..y se siente taaan bien! [Da, te debo tantas cosas! Dicen q casarse es el FIN pero yo tengo la suerte de tener una marida exepcional :)]
Mañana empieza todo una vez mas. Lo he estado esperando desde hace bastante, wow, si..hace mucho..deben pensar q estoi loka [kien kiere volver al colegio? Bno, yo] pero no lo estoi..bno, almenos no completamente. Me gusta ir al colegio [kitandole q me tengo q levantar a las 4.30 am] pq alla me siento completa. Siento q el colegio es un lugar donde yo tengo un LUGAR. Donde yo soi alguien, donde me conocen, donde me kieren. Me siento mas a gusto alla q aki en mi ksa. Siento q pertenezco a ese ambiente. Y me enknta la sensacion. Por eso las vacaciones muchas veces se pueden convertir en el infierno.
Pero ya mañana descansare de esa sensacion de no pertenecer aki..de sentir q soi una completa EXTRAÑA.
No hay muchas cosas mas q decir..me siento bn y me enknta la sansacion. Y lo mejor esq pronto pertenecere a algun lugar y no solo sere...'ella'.