I.Don't.Care

Lets see...well, i loved you (as friends, of course). Yes, u were my floor and u know that. And I should have chosen u, i know that [Well, i dont really like the word CHOOSE..cuz it is too...too for objects. No one is an object]. I know that friends ALWAYS come first. [Did u know that he is my FRIEND, before anything else?] But I chose him. Yes, I did. Ok...I was especting that. I was expecting and waiting for the day u will say 'him or us'. And I was thinking about that question for son long i did thought about ALL the consequences. I knew u would hate me, I would lose u...I knew I would be how I am. I knew it. But u know why I 'chose' him? Fist of all, I love him. Second of all, hey, u have urselfs, i mean ure NOT alone. U have ur friends and someone to hang around. So, just tell me, that i wanna know: who would he hang around if I let him alone? Just tell me..who? And who would take him seriously? Who would try to make him and his life better? Who will not just laughs at him? Who will understand him and not just put him as a FUCKING emo? I am not ABLE to say NO to him. In that moment, in the moment I had the choice to say 'I want my friends rather than him' i didnt..u know why? Not beacuse i was hypocrite or that I didn't care about what u felt. Is just that for the FIRST time in my life, I was going to do, not the best for me, but for someone else. Because u did not lose anything when I lose u. No, I'm no one. It was not easy, but here I am. I lost u, but I won someone who i can tell absolutely EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. There are not tabu's.
Now, I'm livin the consequences of action, of my decision. Im not COMPLAINING about it! Cuz i simply knew it will happen LIKE THIS. AND I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY ARE U LIKE THAT! WITH ALL THAT ANGER AND...THIRST FOR REVANGE. Ok, i hurt u. But can we go to that day by fighting or could we make it better like that? Really, I dont think so. I dont understand why cant u just let it go. I NEVER ASKED TO YOU TO BE MY FRIENDS AGAIN. NEVER. I just said sorry, that was all. I did not beg you to be part of u again. Did I? Did I? NO! Do u want me to beg?? And u know why I didn't do it? Because with the decission I made I knew I would lose u and im just accepting the punishment i receive for doing what i did. Not beacuse im proud, come on.. [U, YOU of all people shouldn't have said that..have u looked at u at the mirror?], If it was proudness, believe me..i will just forget about EVERYTHING to get u back again. And i dont really care if u write again about me and say 'hey this is hard? well, is the truth'. Beacuse nothing cares ANYMORE! I just thought u were mature enough to let it go and forget about it and just ignore us. Maybe I was wrong. I WAS WRONG.

I tried to do it, but u seem to want to keep that inside. Whatever. Do whatever u want. I already cared too much about it.

And I also just DONT CARE about them. They can't do anything anymore, anyway.